mike kostyo

I know food.

vanilla bean mini donuts

I rarely eat donuts. Don't worry, this isn't one of those, "I don't watch television," statements. It's just, donuts are breakfast food, I guess? But it seems wrong eating a fried hunk of dough that is covered in sugar at 9am. "I'll have the tiramisu and a butterscotch milkshake for breakfast, please. Thank you, IHOP waitress."

If I went into Dunkin' Donuts before work and got a donut, I'd be afraid the person behind the counter would think, "If he's ordering a donut for breakfast, what does he eat for dinner? Or dessert?" That's probably what they think about every single customer.

But I'm alone, apparently, because Americans eat 10 billion donuts a year. I tried to do the math on my calculator but my calculator can't count to 10 billion. Americans eat more donuts a year than my calculator can count to. "Let's move." -Michelle Obama.

Anyway, did you know one mini donut is worth 27 big donuts? I'm pretty sure that's definitely accurate. Maybe they are counting mini donuts and that's why Americans eat 10 billion donuts a year. That's probably it. "That's not it." -Michelle Obama.

I made these donuts (I spell it donuts. So do a lot of people, including Dunkin', though I'm pretty sure doughnuts is "correct." But donuts looks better to me for some reason. And that's how language works.) using buttermilk I had left over from some truffle butter I made (haha, that's me alright, "I'm just not eating donuts while I don't watch television and eat homemade truffle butter"). The only thing was, I tripled the recipe and I only have one pan. So it only took, what is that, 18 batches or so? I don't even need that dumb calculator.

That 10 billion comes to like 30 donuts a person or so. So, 30 donuts a person, 27 mini donuts equals one big one, 30 times 27, carry the one, add the sprinkles = everyone can eat 402,811 mini donuts a year. That's definitely correct.


vanilla bean mini donuts

adapated from sprinkle bakes/sur la table

for the donuts:
+ 2 cups all purpose flour
+ 3/4 cup granulated sugar
+ 2 teaspoons baking powder
+ 1 teaspoon kosher salt
+ 3/4 cup buttermilk
+ 2 eggs, lightly beaten
+ 2 tablespoons butter, melted
+ seeds scraped from one vanilla bean

for the glaze/decoration:
1 cup powdered sugar
+ 1-2 tablespoons milk
+ 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
+ sprinkles for decorating

special equipment
+ mini donut pan

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Spray your mini donut pan with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl/the bowl of your stand mixer, add the 2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, 2 teaspoons baking powder and 1 teaspoon kosher salt and stir until combined.

In a separate bowl, combine the 3/4 cup buttermilk, 2 eggs, 2 tablespoons melted butter and vanilla seeds. Mix until well combined and the vanilla seeds are evenly disbursed.

Pour the liquid mixture into the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined - don't overmix.

You can use a small spoon to fill the donut pan, but filling a pastry bag fitted with a small tip or a plastic bag with a small portion of the tip cut off works best. Fill each cavity only half full - filling them any higher won't give you the rounded, donut look.

Bake the donuts for 5 to 8 minutes - watch them because they bake fast. They will be slightly browned at the edges and will spring back when touched. Let cool in pan for 5 minutes before removing to completely cool.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, mix the cup of powdered sugar, tablespoon of milk (to start) and 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla. Stir until the sugar is completely dissolved. You may need to add more milk to get it to a thick, liquidy consistency suitable for dipping - add a tiny bit at a time until you reach the consistency you want.

When the donuts have completely cooled, dip the tops of each one into the glaze (you may need to blow out the hole in the middle to clear it of glaze). Sprinkle the sprinkles over the top. Let the glaze harden slightly and serve immediately.

makes 60-70 mini donuts