homemade hamburger buns

I love any business makeover show. Hotel Impossible, Tabatha Takes Over, Restaurant Impossible, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (and the lesser American equivalent), Bar Rescue. Except for the screaming and yelling; that I could do without. Particularly Restaurant Impossible's Robert and Bar Rescue's Jon, who both shout-talk almost everything they say and then act surprised when the restaurant owner doesn't take an immediate liking to them.

Hotel Impossible's Anthony Melchiori is by far the best host, not just because he knows his shit, but because he seems to genuinely care about each and every hotel owner. And you would be surprised at how interesting it is to learn about standard occupancy rates or how often a hotel should be deep cleaned (although many owners seem to be finding out for the first time that rooms should be cleaned at all).

I have watched hours of these shows and there are more than a couple problems that pop up in almost every epsisode. What might those be, Mike? Glad you asked. Here are eleven:

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blueberry muffins

I was going to make an introduction about some nonsense that has nothing to do with the recipe and then tie it to the recipe with the thinnest of transitions, like I usually do, but the note about using a scale became so long that I have decided this whole post is going to be about using one.

Look, I know every Tom, Dick, and Mary Baker says to invest in a scale. Every baking book starts off with an introduction about the importance of weighing your ingredients. Bloggers are adding the metric weights to the ingredient list with the hope that you'll make the switch.

Honestly though, I swear, just do it already. (If you have done it already, you don't have to read any of this. You get a "Meets Expectations" for today). If you aren't going to do it, just go buy Entenmann's.

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my newest project

Introducing...Chicago Food Bloggers!

This is what I have been working on for the past few weeks. It's based on Boston Food Bloggers, whose founder, Rachel Leah Blumenthal, gave the site her blessing. Cities like Austin, Charleston, Los Angeles, and New York all have their own food blogger groups or directories, why shouldn't Chicago?

It's hasn't officially launched. I'm still working out kinks, trying to get a few blogs on the site, etc. In two weeks I'll send out e-mails and press releases and all that jazz.

If you are a food blogger in Chicago or the suburbs, add your blog! Or, if you know one, spread the word! At its simplest it's a directory of food bloggers, but I'm hoping it becomes much more. I hope it becomes a way for the city's bloggers to learn about each other, meet for brunches and dinners, share information, and learn about new events and conferences.

So that's why posting around here has been a little sporadic. As soon as the site finds its groove I'll be back to posting recipes coupled with crazy introductions that have nothing to do with those recipes. In the meantime, head on over to Chicago Food Bloggers and find a new favorite food blog to follow! 

clam juice and other things that are "in" for march according to lad mags

Have you heard of Next Issue? It's basically Netflix for magazines: you pay a monthly fee and get access to almost all of the magazines you could want. It's great. You always have all of this reading material on your iPad, they even have weeklies (for an upcharge) like The New Yorker, you get all of the digitized back issues, and you end up discovering magazines you would probably never normally pick up. And many have food and recipes! Elle Decor isn't really for me, but Daniel Boulud has a column and recipe each month I'll check out. Real Simple, New York, and the travel titles all cover food. Infomercial over. No seriously, I'm not getting paid or compensated for this, it's just a cool thing.

Sometimes the men's magazines, in particular, have pretty great food coverage (although the recipes tend to treat guys like kindergarteners) and legit journalism. In between, however, are strangely confident "What's In" features that tell you everything that you should be wearing, eating, watching, reading, etc. that month. And it's all $5,000. And would look silly if you wore it with your normal, not-model body to your regular workplace (unless your job is jumping in the air in an all-white room). But, just for you, I went through all of the month's issues to find out what's in for March. I read (well skimmed through) the March 2013 issues of Details, GQ, Esquire, and Men's Journal. And I'm reporting on my findings here. You are welcome.

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homemade mayonnaise/ chicken salad

Did you watch the Academy Awards yesterday? Kind of strange. That's nice how Chicago won everything. Were you offended by Seth MacFarlane or not? He enunciates well, but he also seemed to hate everyone and cover all of his jokes with meta-humor and snark. "Are we still going to do this joke?" "You liked that joke, eh?" He kept saying things like that. Own your material! Good review.

I like the Academy Awards though! I like movies! I like to hope Zero Dark Thirty wins and then be mad when it doesn't. I like a good montage. Although, like everyone, I have some ideas for how to improve the Oscars:

Tell the presenters that they are performing the role of a lifetime. For some reason the presenters are always bad at presenting. They look straight ahead, awkwardly misread the teleprompter in a robot voice, mess up jokes, mispronounce every name, and then complain about how difficult it is to open the envelope. I'm embarrassed for them. When you recall that performing is their job, it's kind of strange. But maybe that's the problem! Maybe they are freaked out because they have to be themselves and not Ace Ventura or Neil Armstrong or a geisha. So give them a character to play! I don't think it even has to be really creative. Just tell them, "You are playing a very interesting, charismatic, and funny actress who needs to build interest and tension in this list of people you are about to read, because in a moment, for one of them, all of their dreams will come true, but for the other four, their every hope and wish will come crashing down all around them. Here is your script and there is the camera."

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